Ah, New Jersey, where the skyline is now graced by mysterious drones and the airwaves filled with equally mysterious health complaints. From TikTok to town halls, residents are convinced these buzzing contraptions are responsible for a litany of ailments—everything from sinus congestion to “coughing up a lung.” It’s as if the Garden State’s real epidemic isn’t respiratory viruses but conspiracy theories on overdrive. But who can blame them when the government is as tight-lipped as a vault?
Let’s take a step back. According to the experts—those pesky people with medical degrees—the sudden surge in sniffles and sneezes has a much simpler explanation: it’s flu season. And for those keeping track, we’re also seeing spikes in COVID, RSV, and good old-fashioned colds.
Though some of the claims may be comical, some are taking it seriously. One TikToker all but declared her sinus congestion to be a direct result of drones over Staten Island. Another insisted her full-body aches and “hair hurting” (yes, hair!) were clearly linked to the flying machines. And in perhaps the most New Jersey response of all, a resident named Shawna tied her coughing fit to the drones, lamenting how it’s all happening “right before Christmas.”
👀🚨BE AWARE!
Multiple reports have been made about the possibility of these DRONES spraying what look to be some chemicals through the sky during night in New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
Many people in these states are concerned & are being told there’s a NEW VIRUS 🦠 going… pic.twitter.com/1QHOrJV7s1
— Sir Pouj (@pouj_) December 14, 2024
Meanwhile, health professionals are doing their best to keep a straight face. Dr. Thomas Moore, an infectious disease specialist, gently reminded everyone that we’re in the thick of respiratory virus season. His colleague, Dr. Bill Schaffner, echoed the sentiment, emphasizing that your stuffy nose isn’t being “beamed down from above.” Even the FBI felt the need to weigh in, calling the public’s reaction a “slight overreaction.”
Let’s not ignore the elephant—or rather, the drone—in the room. These flying machines are indeed a mystery, swarming the skies over military bases, coastal areas, and even Donald Trump’s Bedminster golf course. President Biden has tasked federal agencies with getting to the bottom of it, though so far, their answers have been about as satisfying as unsalted fries. The drones, they say, could be anything from hobbyist toys to celestial misidentifications (yes, someone seriously suggested people are mistaking stars for drones).
The #drones are already causing hysteria and other illnesses in Americans
New Jersey folks reporting getting sick
It will come to a point where anti-drone gear is produced, and drones start dropping from the sky daily
Bookmark it
— Trailwarriors.Life ⚜️ (@trailwarriorslf) December 17, 2024
While officials assure us there’s “no evidence” of a public safety threat, the lack of clarity isn’t doing much to calm nerves. Of course, the Biden administration’s knack for non-answers doesn’t help. Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas said they’d alert the public “if there’s any reason for concern,” which is bureaucrat-speak for “We don’t know, but please stop asking.”
Here’s the thing: the real story here isn’t that drones are allegedly making people sick—it’s that people are so primed to panic that they’ll connect just about anything to an unexplained phenomenon. This is what happens when trust in government and institutions is so low that drones become the scapegoat for seasonal sniffles. Instead of reaching for Kleenex, folks are reaching for conspiracy theories.
So, what’s the takeaway? Maybe it’s time for some perspective. Yes, the drones are weird, and yes, the government owes us an explanation.
